loving you was never said to be easy, but it's worth it
by ohdearbabybird
Summary: Collection of Captain Swan ficlets posted on tumblr based on Season 5A, canon divergence- fluff, smut, angst. Requests are being accepted!
1. Chapter 1

There's a surge of emotion that's quaking in her veins, thundering in her heart, powering in her mind.

She feels unbalanced, out of control, and yet- he still wants to hold her hand. He still looks at her the same way he's always looked at her- with love in his eyes, he still holds her the same way- understanding and comfort in every touch, and he still talks to her as he always has- with utmost respect.

He still calls her Swan, he still teases her, in the way that divides her between wanting to roll her eyes and wanting to kiss him to shut him up and wipe that smug grin off her face. Her hand still fits perfectly in his, and he still unknowingly squeezes her hand, whenever he feels her mind drifting and pulling him away from her.

Her body feels tired, weak from fighting the internal battle, and she knows it's just the start- it's the beginning of her journey. Of _their journey,_ as he reminds her- he's not going anywhere.

Dark Ones manipulate. Dark Ones don't need sleep. But Dark Ones can still _love._ For with everything in chaos, that's one thing she is sure of- she loves him.


	2. Miss you already

_"You've got a piercing-eyed, smoldering pirate here who loves you."_

He can't help but tease her, mischief dancing in his gaze, as his arms hold her close, wrapped tightly around her waist.

The brief moments where the darkness is kept far away happen to be most often when she's around him. His love for her and hers for him pushes past the strangling feeling the darkness presents and she feels light and free. Perhaps this is what true love feels like, but it does not matter to her whether they're considered "true loves" because the way her heart feels, the way he makes her feel- that's more than some title- it's more than she ever imagined she could feel- it's more than enough for her.

His smolder lingers on his lips, but his eyes are crinkled at the corners with love for her. She can't help herself but launch herself at his lips with such intensity that makes her cling to him as the love that she feels for him makes her head dizzy with ardor.

As many kisses as they've shared, since letting those three words slip past their lips, each kiss has seemed more passionate than the last. His insistent mouth gently pushes past her lips, sending a wild tremble down her back, as he pulls her tighter against him. He pulls back after a moment, still holding her in place, but she's not ready for the moment to end. Instinctively, her hand moves to his head, her fingers running through his hair, and she pulls him back to her. He chuckles and whispers against her lips, " _minx,"_ before he kisses her softly and sweetly, over and over again.

Finally he pulls away from her, a soft sigh escaping her lips,and his eyes say all she needs to know. _Come home to me, my love._ With a soft squeeze of their hands, he makes his way back to Granny's. He can't bear to say the words goodbye and neither can she.

Her hand immediately goes to the ring that she wears on a chain around her neck. _Home is the place that when you leave, you miss it and if she's being honest with herself, she already misses Killian Jones._


	3. Yet

_Calm down Swan, I'm not proposing."_

His voice dancing with amusement at her reaction. The word _yet_ dangles in the air between them. And though her facade may deter others, she's always been a bit of an open book to him, and he can see from the widening of her eyes, a glimmer of excitement when she sees the ring.

They've come a long way from their first adventure, climbing up the beanstalk, but this time, she's about to embark on this alone- without him. He spent all of last night, sitting up with her as she wove dreamcatchers, pleading with her to let him accompany her and the wizard. But once he realized there was no changing her mind, he gently took the half woven trinket from her hands before leading her to the bed to hold her as the sun rose blanketing the kingdom with morning light.

Her slight head tilt downwards tells him all he needs to know- he's not the only one who has thought about marriage. She can see a future with him- a happy one. And he internally vows to himself that once all of this is over- once they've saved Emma, he will present to her a ring once more.

In the midst of darkness, the possibility, the hope, and the trueness of love shines through.

 _Yet._


	4. Chapter 4

_**Disclaimer: No more wine. No more tears. Current status: rehydrating for the next two weeks in prep for the finale.**_

 _ **Companion Piece to Chapter 1.**_

Fury is running through his veins. It's as if he's been reawakened- a switch has been flipped and the darkness comes rushing back at him. All of his impulses- his hunger for revenge and greed have risen to the surface. His nostrils flare- the breath coming forth is not Killian Jones, but of the darkness that has found its hold on him.

How dare she make him the one thing he despises the most? The creature that took away his Milah and then came back to haunt him to take away his Emma. His disdain for who he is is paralleled against the tremendous amount of power that he now has.

A low growl escapes his mouth and he shoves the babble spilling from that bloody green annoying witch off. His eyes zero in on her- they always find her, look to her, and right now, she's become his prey.

He can see the remorse taking over- her fear that the truth has been exposed. Emma should have known better than to hide this from him- to hide anything from him. Something had seemed off the moment they found themselves back here in Storybrooke, their memories erased, but he had no idea how off. He wanted the answers to his questions-and he got them, but it doesn't mean he has to like them.

Tears run down his fellow Dark One's cheeks and he can feel this instinct- though small and quite buried deep down- to wipe away her sorrows and take her in his arms. But that instinct is quickly quashed.

"Zelena, leave us be." His voice comes out gruff, cold, hardened, and the witch cackles before she musically teases, "Ta ta, love birds" and disappears to god knows where.

"Killian, you have to understand-I-I wanted us so badly, I wanted everything with you. It wasn't enough for me to have a future- not one without you. Please, Killian-"

"ENOUGH." His voice reverberated off the high ceilings of their house- a house that he had planned to fill with love, warmth, and happiness. A house that symbolized a promise- a house that showed that everyone- both villains and orphans can get their happy endings.

His tongue slithered forward, almost like a snake, as he stalked towards her- his movements smooth like before, but this time hinted with a taunting grace.

"No more humoring you. It's time for you to tell me everything." His sardonic whisper as he stands close to her makes her realize how darkness, even paved with good intentions, is still darkness.

 _Dark Ones lie. Dark Ones manipulate. Dark Ones love. But what happens when they're both Dark Ones?_


	5. cries of the soul

A dark curse is a force to be reckoned with.

She can see the billowing, encompassing smoke as it approaches to engulf her and everyone else beside her. She can feel the shift in the air- the air becomes tight, a windy chill passes over, a slow long creep that causes every hair on her body to stand on edge.

Tears spill forth from her eyes, every tear rolling down her cheek a stab to her heart of what's about to happen. She cradles his head in her lap. Oh, how many times have they been in this position, but in simpler, happier times. His head resting in her lap as they watched a movie, as they laid on the deck of the Jolly Roger looking up at the stars, as he looked up at her, love in his eyes as he told her stories of his past and listened to her reveal her innermost, darkest fears and secrets.

But not today.

Today, his eyes are closed, hiding the darkness that had taken over, so that he only looked at her with contempt and disdain. Today, there is no love in his eyes.

She presses her lips against his still lips. She whispers her apologies as she softly places kisses all over his face. Her tears leave traces of where her lips have graced and she can't help but cry out. _Why me? Why us? Haven't we been through enough?_

This Dark One's curse has condemned her to a life of darkness and to a love that's been tainted and tarnished by darkness, but she will fight. She's not running away from this fight- she'll do whatever it takes to save him, to save them, to save their happy ending.

She presses her forehead against his, _Oh how I didn't want this for you. How I wanted to spare you from this._ Words she's sure he's thought about her taking on the darkness.

Moments before the darkness plagues them all, her heart cries out the words that have been muffled by the curse. _I love you._

 _Unbeknownst to Emma, these very three words were whispered by her mother to her father (her true love), before the first Dark Curse befell thirty years ago._


End file.
